Roach Encounters of the Third Kind

I've looked deep inside myself. I've mustered up the courage. And now, after many hours of deep breathing and near panic attacks, I feel that I can share w/ you........ my encounter w/ the Roach.
On Wednesday night I went to bed like any normal 29 year old female would. At 2:10am I woke up to use the bathroom. When I came back to bed Bella had started crying. I tried petting her - didn't work. I got up to make sure she had food - food bowl full. I even turned on the bathtub faucet so that she could get a drink if she wanted - no luck. At about 2:45am I am at my whit's end and have resorted to throwing pillows. (Yeah, get off you high horse and be glad I didn't have a shoe.)
I felt myself drift off shortly before 3am. When! All of a sudden! I felt something "crawl" down my back. I leapt up in bed, threw my shirt off, and frantically starting trying to get whatever was on me OFF!!!!! Once I felt secure that the perpetrator was no longer on my person, I put my glasses on and started searching in the bed. I searched for a good 30 seconds and then a MASSIVE roach sped along beside me. Using my pillow as a weapon I swept him of the bed.
Now in hindsight I probably should have turned on the light before I started looking for the "crawly thing", but I didn't. So I've decided to do it now. The roach on the floor is long gone by now, but had left a very odd looking pod in the bed w/ me. Internet research the next day led me to identify said pod as an egg sack. (Yes, you may go throw up now.)
Well it's not like i can sleep in my bed any longer, so at 3:15am I make my way to the couch. Fifteen minutes later and I have to pee...... again. So I go to the front bathroom and no soon that I have started, the roach comes from behind the toilet and runs at my feet. So I am now, sitting on the toilet w/ my feet up in the air, trying to squish him w/ a plunger. He finally crawled under the bathmat, and I left him there so that I could finish what I was doing and go find the roach spray.
Apparently, someone else had used all the ant and roach spray and all I could find was wasp and hornet killer. **sigh** So I bravely went back into the bathroom w/ the wasp and hornet killer in one hand and a plunger in the other. My exceptionally impressive roach hearding skills came into play as I flushed him out from under the bathmat, sprayed him w/ the spray, and trapped him under the plunger. Yes.... I am THAT good.
And I left him there till the next morning for my little brother to dispose. This has nothing to do w/ me being deathly afraid of roaches and wanting to throw up every time I think of one. I just figured that I had done all of the hard work and he should pull his share of the weight. Really!!!!