Nerves

So I've found a new way that I amaze myself. That isn't supposed to sound conceited, trust me the way that I'm currently amazed at myself is nothing to gloat about. I will not be writing home about this any time soon.
This may be a round-about way of getting to the point, but what the heck, it's my blog. I can write what I want. First off you have to understand that I don't believe in stress. I mean, I know it exists, but I don't see the point of it. Thus - I don't believe in it. I believe that stress is a negative response to pressure. It's worthless and achieves nothing, so I just refuse to stress about things. I never stressed about school and I don't stress about work.
Some people are probably thinking "Oh, well she must have not done a very good job in school" or "She can't be performing very well at her job". And they would be wrong. I was Cum Laude at A&M, and I am currently a team leader for a group of investigators at my job. In short, I succeed in the things I do. I made the comment once that I do one thing well in life, and that's that I do things well.
Back to the stress-free thing. So, I've always refused to stress which means that I don't really worry about things either. Again, I feel that it's a waste of time and it isn't productive. These things may not make sense to you, but stressing and worrying doesn't make sense to me. You see I'm very logical, and if it doesn't fit into my world of logic I sometimes have a hard time wrapping my head around it.
Sometimes I think I should have been born a man. When I took the Clifton Strengthfinders Test w/ a bunch of other women in mgmt roles at Wells Fargo, the difference was very apparent. All of these other women have strengths such as Compassion, the ability to Empathize, Cultivators, Teachers, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. My strengths were, and may I say that out of 50 women I was one of the only 2 that possessed the following, being an Activator, having the ability to Strategize, Competitiveness, Performer, and one more that I can't think of. I later got told that these were normally "male" strengths.
Now back to what I was actually talking about.
So we started at stress, then we worked out way to worrying, now we're on to nerves. When you worry about something you tend to get nervous about it.
So at 29 years old I've finally found something that I get mentally nervous about. (One of these days I will clarify the difference between mentally and physically nervous. And how I had a nervous stomach for years and became physically ill because my brain refused to be nervous and instead my body took over. Another time, another blog.) I officially get nervous and worry about my family, friends, and the people I care about now.
And not just a little nervous, I'm talking the type of nervous where you're just sick at your stomach for days on end. Recently Reesa and my little brother were very upset about some crap that was going on in their respective lives. And what do I do, I get nervous. I had made the comment to Brady that all I wanted to do was make it all better. That I couldn't stand my friend hurting the way she was and I just wish there was something magical that I could do, that would make it all better. And we won't even discuss how much I worry about Brady over in Iraq.
So I pretty much hate it, it's right up there with the whole I used to not cry and now I do thing. My mother says that it's b/c I'm getting softer and starting to be more feminine and all that crap. I'm trying to see it in a positive light, and embrace the whole things. Yeah, b/c we can tell that's working out so well. Grrrrrrrrrr, someone tell me again that worrying about the people we care about is a good thing.